A few thoughts:
It's hard to believe I've been here for six weeks. In some senses the time has flown by. Weeks seem to speed by in ministry. It was not long ago that I was in New England finishing up school and then running madly about Vermont attending various meetings and seeing as many friends as I could in the three days before I came to Selma. That being said, it also feels like I've been he much longer than a month and then some. Part of this is because the community--the Edmundites, the Mission Office staff, the Sisters, the parishioners--all make you feel so welcomed. You fit in right off the bat and everyone is thrilled to make you a part of their lives.
Seeing, living, and working among the poverty and racism that is so prevalent here has been eye opening. I've heard so many stories of people whose lives are almost entirely out of their hands. For some the only hope they have is their faith and the meal they get each day from the Edmundite Center of Hope. For others, the reality of racial divisions and hatred still rule and leave downtrodden many of the folks in this area. My initial reactions to these issues were shock and disbelief. Shortly after came anger, bitterness that we live in societies where people hate each other so, solely based on the color of their skin. It is immensely frustrating to see that public schools are almost entirely black, and private schools are all white. And it is even more frustrating to see that the public schools are terrible concerning education, funding, faculty, and programming. But this all culminates in a hope that inspires me: that things can change and grow, that black and white brothers and sisters can overcome the centuries of barriers that have for so long divided the body of Christ here in Selma. I see this hope in the work of the Southern Missions, Our Lady Queen of Peace, young professionals associations, and all the folks who are sick and tired of this segregation.
It is incredible how something we so often take for granted makes a world of a difference to someone who cannot take such a thing for granted. As I've written a handful of times, one of the most inspiring things this Summer has been bringing communion to the home-bound and those in the hospital. Yes, we bring Jesus in the consecrated bread to them, but just as importantly we bring the presence, the Body of Christ that we represent and are--our very own presence--to them. Those so disconnected from the ecclesia, the gathering, who are not able to join with the Church on Sundays due to sickness, infirmity, and poverty, have the Church brought to them. It is a beautiful moment to witness and be part of. That is something I will take with me always, wherever God may lead me in my vocation.
I am developing better prayer habits. My prayer life has been more consistent. That is not to say it's all been a joy or all resulting in overwhelming experiences of the Divine, not in the least. There have been some very dry, seemingly fruitless, and even very painful times, but prayer has been the foundation of my life these past six weeks. I know that has been crucial in my development and will be just as necessary as I continue on.
Living in community has been incredibly affirmative of my vocation. As some may know, it was extremely difficult for me being disconnected from the Edmundite community at large during the school year. It was very trying and left me quite exhausted at times. Living--praying, celebrating mass, eating, recreating, quibbling over household matters, adjusting to new situations--with the other Edmundites here has been a tremendous blessing (as much as a certain Brother mocks my laugh). It gives me hope of what community life is and direction of where it can go in the future. In so many ways this is perhaps the most important thing I've experienced while here. Not to put qualitative value on everything, but this area was where I had been struggling the most over the last year. So far this experience has been precisely what I needed.
All of this leads me to reflect on why I originally decided to come down here. In the early Spring I was all set to go to the Middlebury Language School to study French this Summer. The intention would be to prepare myself to do historical work for the Society of St. Edmund (a large amount of our documents in the archives are in French). A few months had gone by since I had initially applied in the midwinter, and something was not sitting right. One day as I sat in class I thought, "Gee, I am not going to go to Middlebury. Fr. Steve would probably be a great guy to work with this Summer." Upon approval from my superior I called up Fr. Steve who was enthused at the possibility and quickly drew up an outline of what we'd do. It was all very spur of the moment. Something about it, despite all the challenges I knew I would face, felt right. I knew I had to take a step of faith and I knew that I had to have very few expectations of what the Summer would entail. My approach when I got here, and it remains still the same now, was to simply be open to whatever the Spirit may bring to the table.
That is what has lead me to this point. That is why I am here now with a clearer sense of vocation, of direction, of hope, and of purpose. I know not what the next six weeks will entail and still less the following year. But I am willing to keep walking--at times just stumbling along by God's good grace--this path. And see we shall where this curious adventure leads!
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| So far, so good. |
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